Esalen Bound

I am driving down to beautiful Esalen today. I am going to the Yoga and Addiction Recovery – A Celebration of Healing conference. This will be my third year there and I am so looking forward to it. I got up early, setting clothes in piles and changing my mind (appearance being everything and nothing). I am making stacks of books to read, books that give me comfort – that I just like having with me, and thinking about picking up yet another book on my way out of town “just in case”. I have notebooks with blank pages and notebooks with writing; the former to fill and the latter to review. I have plans for completing some worksop preparation and hopes for a massage… and all that in the few “free” hours we have each day! I am not bringing clay this year, so I will be more cerebral in my “quiet time”. Why am I so concerned about filling hours that could be spent vacant and soft? What part of the path am I “aiming” for that keeps me from being on it? Honestly, the books and binders are intentions but may more than likely remain un-opened, unreviewed, and un-marked. But there is something in me that abhors a free-fall into unplanned time. I do know I am putting off experiencing fear and concern. I do not like driving, I do not know what my role in contributing to the event will be, I am unsure about myself in te presence of these amazing, talented, learned teachers and students. I experience insecurity. When I go to this conference I look around and am awed by every face I see, each person with her or his own story, embodiment of bravery in showing up for life, and curiosity about the next chapter this experience will offer her/him. In writing this I realize that going to the conference is about BEing on a path I may not have pre-selected or chosen, I am there BEing IN my bliss; no directions needed.

Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200 is the author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path”, a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training she holds with her good friend Kent Bond E-RYT500. Find out more about her, her classes and the training at