Dear Competency, You are no longer my friend. You kept me safe when I was little, you even helped me in my career, you supported me at the head of household when I was a mom. But now I find you are killing me, suffocating my spirit and crushing my ability to connect with others.…
Oh how I wanted to be catapulted into the fourth dimension! I wanted what I assumed to be the natural ease and confidence of those in long term sobriety. I longed for the self assured demeanor of my employers. Clear thinking, wise decision making skills, self assurance- they represented all of these to me and I…
Why do I try to boss others around, control outcomes and manage all variables when I feel like I am empty and have nothing to offer? This is not a one time thing, it appears as if this were an ongoing reflex to low self-esteem. I feel down and I have to look outward; fixating…
HOW DO YOU TREAT YOURSELF? THIS IS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS I never really thought of it this way- if I put myself last, I am showing you that is how I prefer things. I don’t mean that I cruelly or narcissisticaly demand to be considered first and foremost – only that I deserve consideration.…
I love vegetables. There are times when just standing at the counter with a pile of freshly rinsed vegis and my favorite knife can be bliss. I look at their color, smell the bright splash of scent when I put in the first cut and a bit later I have piles of of chopped bits…
Mark Twain said that “Humor is tragedy plus time.” And I say “THANK GOD!” Looking back at my life before recovery and my life early in recovery I see what I huge part my guilt and shame played in my selection of jobs, how I handled requests and requirements, and how I responded to requests…