That’s right – come to a rest, put your pencil (keyboard, tablet, device, list, or other “have to do”) down and breathe.
Going going going, doing doing doing getting getting getting. I suffer from the disease of “more”. I know I am in “trouble” when I reach for “just one more” cookie, spoonful of something, forkful of another, , one more hand of cards, one more silly you tube video, or one more of anything. The process and instinct remind of “just one more” drink or drug or pill; a behavior of the past. What it means is that I am reaching for ONE MORE than I need or really want. It can also be a way for me to avoid my feelings.
It is amazing how the concept of “just one more” creeps into the good behavior as well as the bad. Just one more minute doing an administrative duty, one more chapter of a book I am studying, a pose I am deconstructing, a commitment to add to my calendar, a class to add to my schedule. To stay at a task beyond thirst, beyond tending to physical needs (to eat before starving, to stretch before tense, to pee before…) is another form of TOO MUCH. So whether I am doing too many useful things or too many harmful things – if I am avoiding my TRUE feelings; I am letting business shroud authenticity. More ACTIVITY is LESS of real.
What do you do when you feel under the weather? Do you push through or throttle back? Do you need to CRASH to “just STOP it”? Are you afraid of baby-ing yourself and resist taking a rest? As a woman in recovery, even after these many years I still equate feeling sick with feeling hungover – and that was a condition of my own making – so I used to just push through that. Sick is sick- it has been a learning experience to just be how I am… allow myself to be a sick bunny until I get well.
Does being calm cause you anxiety? When I am in the tornado of EVER-DOING I can be really uncomfortable taking a pause, taking a break and certainly meditating can make me itch. My background as an adult child of an alcoholic has reinforced in me a basic distrust of calm and peace. It is a learned behavior to relax and to be calm. When I am in the throes of HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) or when I am coming down with something I find this newer behavior elusive but all the more necessary. When I cannot TOLERATE peace is when I need it most. It is the flag, the caution light, the klaxon of urgency: “Let Go”, take a break, PAUSE.
How do you feel today, right now, are you barreling through, waiting “until”, saving the bathroom break until…? What would happen if you paused right NOW – and “just STOP it” for a moment.
What ever it is, it will be here when you get back. I just tried that, and it is true.
Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path”, a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training she holds with her good friend Kent Bond RYT500. Find out more about her, her classes and the training at www.yogarecovery.com