When I sit in meditation it is with the hope that I will.. meditate! That I won’t have thoughts that get stuck in the past or get involved in detailed plans for the future. I am ok with those occasional nuggets that pop up from time to time; once the mind has settled a lost thought or forgotten idea will pop up and I place it “on the side” hopefully to be retrieved later.
Those are the good days, when only a few unbidden items (images or words, actions or remembrances) float into the field of awareness and I am grateful. Then I go back to the breath, the letting go the desire, the attachment to nothingness, the aversion of anything. To be honest,however, when I sit in meditation I have an agenda. I have a preference. I would like my meditation to be calm and void. I do know coming back to the breath 100 times is still “perfect”. (Thank you, Stephanie Tate, for those continued words of kindness I take to my cushion every day.) But I have to admit I have desires.
So it came as quite a shock the other day to “hear” quite clearly: “with all that talking, you aren’t letting your higher power get a word in edgewise!” What??? That was the message – the universe couldn’t “speak” to me if I was going to carry on with the don’t think, don’t think, don’t think palaver. That settled me down right quick- even the mental discussion about “its OK, come back to the breath” and “don’t look to be in meditation, just sit and let it come” and all the other chatting I do about being on the cushion was really a lot of noise that prevented me from listening. What am I learning from this message? I am seeing that this ordering myself about in my mind (which, by the way, infects my daily attitude toward myself) is too busy.
What are those wise words? “Note it and let it go.” That is my practice now. Not grasping for the nothingness and not avoiding the landscape of thoughts – but just noting them. It is so basic. I think I have learned this before.
(thank you mimiandeunice.com)
Kyczy Hawk E-RYT200, RTY500 is the author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path”, a leader of Y12SR classes, and the creator of SOAR(tm) (Success Over Addiction and Relapse) a teacher certification training she holds with her good friend Kent Bond E-RYT500. Find out more about her, her classes and the training at www.yogarecovery.com